Being with your parents

Few days ago, I read an article on a magazine, which make my eyes wet. It was about taking care of your parents. It is a serious of report on this issue, including interviews with those late 30's, or 40's childern. This is talking about how my life is and how confused I am now.
In the article, it said "孝", the traditional Chinese way of caring and respecting your parents maybe no longer works, or maybe need to work in other ways. Parents and childrens may no longer live together, and the age difference is bigger, children at this edge are at the "sandwich stage", raising their kids and supporting their parents at the same time. If the parents are healthy, you are lucky. If not, may need a lot more time, effort and money to take care of them.
My mom had the hip joint replacement surgery one month ago. I came back before the surgery, since she was already in a lot of pain at hip joint, not able to move around. Dad called several time ask me to come back to take care, he sounds very desprated. This made me feel guilty and urge to get back, but on the other hand, i hate leaving my huby in SH. Anyhow, this kind of quilty feeling is always there while I stay at my parents home and while I taking care of them and the house.
On the other hand, it's so hard to get along with them. I mean, the way we interact and the way to caring each other.... I really don't know how. Even if I know how, my action just end up disappointly...
So, I have the feeling of quilty and disappointed to myself....
And I don't see I am really helping my parents, in the way I wish I could do better....
This is my learning, and this learning maybe my last chance in this life time. They are getting older, and no one could say how many time we got. This terrified me somehow. I really wish I have the wisdom to cope this!